First draft

I am worried. Tonight, I'm going to send the report file to my supervisor. I feel like everything in my life is depending on this report somehow. I wanted it to be so perfect and now I don't even have the confident to say it is good.
I tried to get help from some friends to correct English problem part but I still don't think it looks like a scientific report.
The first effect of the report on my supervisor has direct relationship to my admission for PhD program. I'm scared and feel so lonely. It is like the judgement day that we were taught in our highschool that nobody can do anything for you and you are alone with your actions. Even my mother who has always been supportive cannot do anything for me in this situation.

Wish me luck.

Dance with me; Make me sway

While rephrasing stolen sentences from other thesis which is exhausting and dead slow, I'm thrilled thinking about dance class which starts tonight. I have a lot of friends this time around me in dancing class and I guess we are going to share our partners which makes dance class to be more fun. I've got my ex-officemate as my partner means no more songs without dancing. I still don't have shoes with heels. :) Who remembers my birthday? ;)

I sent my resume to a company in a warm city in US for their job opportunities. It's more close to a dream than reality to be employed there. To what if? ... salud :D

I completely freaked out when I heard he pierced his left ear. Even now that I'm writing I feel my hairs are upright. Am I biased? I can't take it. He is 3 years younger than me and he can surprise me this much with this new world; What would I do with my children that seems to be more than 30 years younger than me? They are going to be so under pressure or kill me instead, if I continue this way of thinking. Easy to say accept and respect people's tastes and wishes but when something like this happens you just realize that you can not look at him like before, although he still has his qualities.
P.S: At least it is not his right ear.

The annoying project

I think it's the time to get anxious and work harder. Why am I like this? I rest, relax and work slowly; I put everything prior to my job, then when the deadline comes I can't sleep because I feel uneasy, and I even dream of my project and problems, so no good rest during the night.

Finally, I start to write what I have done over the past five months. I tried to be super organized, but now that I've started writing I realize that I have lost some references and files. In every project, there are new experiences. Should I like to become a professional researcher, I must start writing simultaneously with doing research.

I spend more time on checking the word count than writing itself, and just like when I was in highschool, in the middle of writing, I do dream of the minute I'm done with my presentation.

22 pages so far :D

Choose one, no other chance.

If I offer you two friends with below characteristics and force you to choose one, what would you do?

Assume that these two have almost the same background and level of life and success. Just they show off their life differently.

I) One is always happy; She often smiles and seems to be completely pleased with herself. Best things always happen to her, and she enjoys the smallest thing. You never find her dissatisfied of what she has chosen herself. Even when she has lost something, she behaves like nothing bad has happened, and she hasn't ran short of luck, knowledge, money or friend. A dare, proud, cheeky mouse with lion appearance.
She makes you feel jealous to her. After you see her, you feel sorry for yourself.

II) Opposite. Generally dissatisfied. She always guesses that she will get the worst mark in the exam. She has never studied enough. Nothing special never happens to her. She never loves somebody completely. There is always something missing in her partner. She always has the worst luck in the world. There has always been other places better than where she goes. Every time you talk to her, you feel sorry for her and you try to be sympathetic.

P.S: Girls must read the post with male pronouns :)

Tonight, Wedding night

I'm going crazy tonight. I don't know if these days will pass without me hurting myself or curse be-hated guilty people who are laughing heartily and dancing tonight.
I can't help this governing outrage with deep internal sadness in me. No way this is a fair incident? I haven't been able to solve this dilemma after more than 6 months. The picture of them being together is modified now. It's clear; They are hardly suited; He has a fake smile. Now, after the wedding, an intimate picture of them has been added to my painful album: still unbelievable. I have never been so much dull in understanding someone's feelings, specially the one that I always thought of as my soul mate.
Same time last year I could have sworn to The Book that he would never do anything to hurt me; this year, I don't believe in any Book.
Last night, he showed up in my dream with indifferent eyes and told me it's done. I couldn't imagine him looking at me indifferently, but I saw him. He doesn't think of me. He doesn't think of me. He doesn't think of me. This is my homework tonight to write this sentence 10 pages; It helps me believe it.
I remember myself coming out of a cinema with big, red, swollen eyes and runny nose after watching the movie "Leila".
Hani said you'll be fine from on. You are disconnected from him after tonight, and here is the new life for you.

I would like to mention a quote from Nader Ebrahimi:
نفرين بی ريا ترين پيام آور درماندگيست
Curse is the most sincere messenger of helplessness.
(Other translations are appreciated)