New Chapter
I recently read the book "Who Moved My Cheese" again. It is amazing how you can generalize this story to so many different things.
My life has been taking sharp turns recently and I am having trouble to overcome the fear in me. I am a home owner now with a big project in my hand. I have lost two of my best friends to migration. My parents are moving here to live close to me. My dad and I will be co-workers. I don't know if I love my job or the pay.
I have started riding on a spiritual roller coaster since January and it has changed my life and views in so many levels. Many of my desires that made sense last year, do not make sense anymore. My desires have changed, but my mind does not allow them to come to reality because they contradict many things that I have worked for and earned. I am conscious about all the lies and miss-conceptions of the world that we are living in. I seek and fantasize about freedom, but I don't know how to get there. My biggest bane of my life is Money. I desire to learn how to free myself from needing to have money. I want money to be eliminated of my measures of success. How can I reverse many years of training and free myself? My love for money has propelled me to study hard, work hard and spend less. I am successful in many ways because of my love for money. But I honesty don't know how real this is. How important or true is it to be successful with those measures?
My second bane of my life is future and what it brings. I have always benefited from planning, organization, relying on my definite resources before I step forward to do anything. It has been exhausting but successful(?) of course for the most part. but is it really necessary? Do I really have to live my life planing for the future or just living it in the moment and embracing whatever today brings to the table. Why can I not do that? why do I need to be certain of every decision I make and every step I take? why do I constantly optimize everything. I would like to let go and just do anything that pleases me this day. My experience and all the life stories that I have heard prove that nothing stays the same for a long while and you can't count on anything. You can get hit by a car or win the lottery. You can find true love and lose it shortly after. You can be the richest person and all of a sudden lose everything. why do I look for certainty when there is no certainty in anything?
My life has been taking sharp turns recently and I am having trouble to overcome the fear in me. I am a home owner now with a big project in my hand. I have lost two of my best friends to migration. My parents are moving here to live close to me. My dad and I will be co-workers. I don't know if I love my job or the pay.
I have started riding on a spiritual roller coaster since January and it has changed my life and views in so many levels. Many of my desires that made sense last year, do not make sense anymore. My desires have changed, but my mind does not allow them to come to reality because they contradict many things that I have worked for and earned. I am conscious about all the lies and miss-conceptions of the world that we are living in. I seek and fantasize about freedom, but I don't know how to get there. My biggest bane of my life is Money. I desire to learn how to free myself from needing to have money. I want money to be eliminated of my measures of success. How can I reverse many years of training and free myself? My love for money has propelled me to study hard, work hard and spend less. I am successful in many ways because of my love for money. But I honesty don't know how real this is. How important or true is it to be successful with those measures?
My second bane of my life is future and what it brings. I have always benefited from planning, organization, relying on my definite resources before I step forward to do anything. It has been exhausting but successful(?) of course for the most part. but is it really necessary? Do I really have to live my life planing for the future or just living it in the moment and embracing whatever today brings to the table. Why can I not do that? why do I need to be certain of every decision I make and every step I take? why do I constantly optimize everything. I would like to let go and just do anything that pleases me this day. My experience and all the life stories that I have heard prove that nothing stays the same for a long while and you can't count on anything. You can get hit by a car or win the lottery. You can find true love and lose it shortly after. You can be the richest person and all of a sudden lose everything. why do I look for certainty when there is no certainty in anything?
posted by Kimia @ 4:32 PM
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