Choose one, no other chance.
If I offer you two friends with below characteristics and force you to choose one, what would you do?
Assume that these two have almost the same background and level of life and success. Just they show off their life differently.
I) One is always happy; She often smiles and seems to be completely pleased with herself. Best things always happen to her, and she enjoys the smallest thing. You never find her dissatisfied of what she has chosen herself. Even when she has lost something, she behaves like nothing bad has happened, and she hasn't ran short of luck, knowledge, money or friend. A dare, proud, cheeky mouse with lion appearance.
She makes you feel jealous to her. After you see her, you feel sorry for yourself.
II) Opposite. Generally dissatisfied. She always guesses that she will get the worst mark in the exam. She has never studied enough. Nothing special never happens to her. She never loves somebody completely. There is always something missing in her partner. She always has the worst luck in the world. There has always been other places better than where she goes. Every time you talk to her, you feel sorry for her and you try to be sympathetic.
P.S: Girls must read the post with male pronouns :)
Assume that these two have almost the same background and level of life and success. Just they show off their life differently.
I) One is always happy; She often smiles and seems to be completely pleased with herself. Best things always happen to her, and she enjoys the smallest thing. You never find her dissatisfied of what she has chosen herself. Even when she has lost something, she behaves like nothing bad has happened, and she hasn't ran short of luck, knowledge, money or friend. A dare, proud, cheeky mouse with lion appearance.
She makes you feel jealous to her. After you see her, you feel sorry for yourself.
II) Opposite. Generally dissatisfied. She always guesses that she will get the worst mark in the exam. She has never studied enough. Nothing special never happens to her. She never loves somebody completely. There is always something missing in her partner. She always has the worst luck in the world. There has always been other places better than where she goes. Every time you talk to her, you feel sorry for her and you try to be sympathetic.
P.S: Girls must read the post with male pronouns :)
posted by Kimia @ 10:11 PM
10 Comments:
At 4:11 AM,
Spyder said…
impossible choice. but if i had to choose. i'ld have to go with #2. and only for this reason #1 "Even when she has lost something, she behaves like nothing bad has happened"
besides i think its easier to learn to be happy, than to discover one day that you never were.
At 11:05 AM,
Anonymous said…
I think it is easy for me to pick first one. I like to stay with happy people since their attitute could affect me.
At 1:57 AM,
Anonymous said…
:))
I had both of them, I never prefer any of them to the other, I just can say my frienship lasted with second one more than the first and I just got crazy after the results of any exam were posted ;)
At 3:51 AM,
jarvenpa said…
This is a hard one, Kimia, especially if I read it thinking of people of the opposite gender, possible lovers, not friends. I used to fall hard for guys with the #2 qualities, always hoping to be the one to make everything better, and passing up those worthy, happy ones. Ah, but I was much younger then. These days people who radiate contentment are very refreshing to me, but I don't turn away the unhappy ones--everyone is interesting. (amongst my women friends I think I have had the blessing of having many contented ones).
At 5:18 PM,
Yousef said…
If I were to pick, I'd rather live with someone with... wait! what kinda question IS this? If you are already friends with such people then you can't just pick one!!!??
If you want to know how a realtionship would work, that's a different story.
If you are talking about an old friend who only tells you but about her troubles and leaves the good parts out, which certainly seems to be the case here, I would say that may be she thinks you'd be jealous; may be she is not yet ready to reveal the news; may be she is ashamed, afraid, nervous or just not warmed up for it. Worst case scenario is that may be you haven't been close friends all along and YOU didn't know it.
Friendship is a weird thing. People become friends for various reasons.
What I suggested last, occurs very often among college friends and that's because the interaction we have in college is merely professional.
I know it kinda hurts to think you've lost a friend but I am sure it happens to all of us at some point.
On the other hand, if you don't think that's the case, you have bring her to a point where she confides in you and tells you all she has. Offline messages don't really serve communitation purposes well; May be talking on the phone would be different.
It just occured to me that when people find a partner with whom they talk a lot, there won't remain much on their minds when they see you ...
Good discussion/ brainstorming but I am not sure how to conclude! So I'll leave that to you.
At 5:29 AM,
Dr O2 said…
11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111... 11111...
well it is incredible how these people elevate ones mood as well as they enjoy life so easily. One can also learn to act the same after a while.
Honestly I was one with the type 2 charecteristix until I met someone of #1 type & we were grouped together for two years. Now I feel much better and with a diff view towards life.
I would never like to be dragged back to sadness & lack of joy.
Beside the two personality types are somewhat classified into 1)Hypomania 2)deperession :-) both affect their surroundings...
& what's it for you Kimia??
At 7:32 PM,
jarvenpa said…
Kimia--I was thinking about your post,and my reaction, and it came to me--is it possible the real question underlying Kimia's impossible choice is--"what sort of person should I be; what sort of person will people really be drawn to and love?"
And if that IS your underlying question, my answer is--Kimia, be whoever you are, happy, sad, worried, joyful, kind, cruel, hopeful, loving, confused, whatever--because it is authenticity, realness, truth that is the most enticing of all. And someone, the right one or ones, will love you for what and who you are.
At 8:53 PM,
Anonymous said…
pedram::
kimia, i have so much experince of being with girls having the charactristics of number 2. well, as far as i undrestood, if you made friendship with them, you would realize that those poeple keep friendship with you. but they never think of you as your best friend, the one they can trust and develop further. they are always looking for better than you in any case even when they are with you. you can see their eyes are always turning around and seeking for some thing new!
however, i guess, your number 1 describes a person who is well mature and believe herself as she is, knows her ability and intelligence. so she would be trustable, reliable and easy going person to make friendship. you can get along with her easily, she tells you what she wants or it is easy to figure out what she wants you to do. so, number one is my selection
At 4:11 AM,
Spyder said…
I have to second Jarvenpa. If this was the case.
And if this was the case. Kimia we have never meet,but you are so much more than just the 2 types you discribed.
And if Jarvenpa is mistaken I'ld still have to go with #2
At 4:49 PM,
Kimia said…
Thanks everyone for your comments.
Most of you agreed to the impossibility of the choice; I agree too but I just exaggerate both to make it more sensible. I believe any of us has a kind of inclination to one of these choices, but it’s not that much extreme.
First I want to answer Jarvenpa ye aziz. When I wrote this post I wanted to know that people close to which group are mostly demanded. Since I have a definite answer for the question I made, I was wondering how the other group can bring reasons for their choice, and also to get a background why sometimes is better to be like the other group. I’m afraid for my prejudgment that I believe most of the Iranian men are more willing to have a girl from the second group, and likewise girls want #1men. Anyways, I regret to write the last sentence of the post, because I should not give direction to the reader. This was a general statement for all type of friendships. I should not have highlighted the gender. I think you are sagacious (I don’t know if I use it correctly) my meaning became clearer for me after your notice.
For Spyder, I know sometimes the first group looks like tiny brain people who don’t notice what is going on around them or if they do they are pride to admit. We need to be aware of our situation to avoid being shocked by helplessness. And Thanks for the compliment.
Dear Kelvin, Jarvenpa, Omid and Pedram, This radiate of contentment (I love this phrase I was looking for it writing this post) is something valuable from a friend. It’s energizing and effective.
For you Sara, happy to see you here and sad to read your opinion. Because I love you as my best friend and I wished you had chosen the first group because I believe I’m in there except in this blog which is my nagging notebook. Anyways, I think I’m stabilizing myself.
Yousef, you said something about jealousy. I always think of it. I’m afraid to confess that I believe in bad eyes and sigh of people around that ruins someone’s life. I know it’s not their fault; it’s just the way it is, so maybe this is a good reason for people in second group to keep on saying disappointing things even when everything goes well to protect themselves. Btw, I appreciate losing those friends who hide their happiness and show off their sadness.
Well Pedram The reason that you chose the first group is a view that I didn’t think of before. Just remember what Spyder said. Wish you luck.
Omid, Thanks for asking :D I choose the first group. I love people who see the half of the glass which has water, not the empty half. I never feel jealous when I see a friend is happy, but I feel angry when a friend is happy and lucky but still mentions the bad part of her/his luck.
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