I love my birthday

It was my birthday last week. I didn't want to have a party but on Tuesday I woke up and realized that I do really want a party so I invited my friends and I baked a cake and Aazi cooked Lasangia. Here it was ... It was a big party and I asked my friends to buy Dancing shoes for me all together. It was a warm party in my new place; we danced, ate, drank and had lots of fun.

I think I am doing pretty well and have somehow moved on, but still on some occasions (like birthdays) I am screwed. In the party, I was dancing all the time and I was looking at my friends and I knew they like me, yet I still felt a big hole in my heart. I was desperately searching for those big eyes looking at me offering love. I got so used to that look and now I feel empty. I missed him deeply. In fact, not him but the feeling of being loved as a woman.
I loved him because he made me feel good; now that he doesn't, I want him headless. Happy Birthday, Unfaithful.